Grand Plan in the Kingdom by the River (25)

By Peter  G. Jimenea/  HOLE OF JUSTICE

King Tura declared he would plant a million trees in the Kingdom by the River this year. His subjects rejoice, including your Hole of Justice. He did great things with the kingdom's forest in his previous nine years term.

His successor King Lean neglected that aspect of governance when he took over from King Tura.

He emphasized fruit and native trees so that aside from the regreening,  people in the immediate area shall have food and livelihood. Native trees will not pose dangers of exotic pests colonizing the kingdom's forests or dislodging others in the ecosystem. In areas where native trees and fruits may be slow to establish, there will be options to plant exotic species like gmelina and African mahogany.

So King Tura ordered the kingdom's aquaculturist, este, agriculturist to mobilize the preparation of 1 million tree seedlings last January with the target of at least 80,000 seedlings per month so that by the end of the year, the target can be met. He also enlisted the dukes of the municipalities to complement his effort.

It is now middle of May or over four months since his decree and the kingdom's nursery has produced a little more than 5,000 seedlings, a far cry from the supposed 300,000 after four months of operation. What’s the problem or problems?

One reason may be is in the procurement process. The head aquaculturist has not received his orders for the 1 million plastic bags needed because the kingdom's BAC is making it hard for bidders to comply with the requirements. It created bureaucratic gridlocks, instead of simplifying the process.

Their singular reason is that they don't want to be tainted with corruption, as if there is no corruption at all. Even the river silt they use as potting material is so limited because the aquaculturist cannot coordinate with the kingdom's engineer to request for several dumptrucks of this potting material.

The biggest problem however is where to get the funds for these materials and the labor needed for potting, planting and maintenance until the seedlings are ready for planting.

King Tura's dream of 1 million trees is just that: a dream. What is happening here?  He appointed charlatans in the top level management to run the BAC. One of these BACbakan charlatans had mired his hands in a 15-million ghost medicine delivery scam, when he was still assigned as royal jester in the court of Madame Tut-po. And he still has the guts to parade himself as “Mr,. Clean”.

We refrained from directly attacking King Tura in the past and instead merely pointed out his missteps in the appointment of Hydrocephalus and Dok Kagaw who are throwing their weight around like anointed sons of god almighty.

His followers from the fiefdoms of Pototan and Mina simply grumbled in silence by these appointments, opting instead to wait and watch by the side on how the abusive Hydrocephalus is slowly eroding the clean and competent image of the Toto king.

But here come incompetence by royal ministers of the kingdom. The role of an aquaculturist managing the agriculture department leaves much to be desired. Is King Tura turning the whole province into the Venice of the Empire? Is he blind to the fact that being a quack doctor doesn't make one competent to implement agricultural programs?

Incompetence and official arrogance also stokes the seething rage among the subjects who to date, have yet to receive their clothing allowance worth P4,000 each. This amount is supposed to be due by the first month of the year. What’s going on, King Tura?

The smart boys appointed by King Tura, namely,  Dok Kagaw and Hydrocephallus, want a slice of the budget so they prevailed on the king to release the clothing allowance, not as cash, but in kind. That means, the subjects will receive only their finished uniforms.

The subjects smell rat here. The clothing allowance will be bid out to tailoring shops and the subjects will get only the finished product. That arrangement is prone to the technique of converting goods into cash.  This is a a racket,  and they want shares from the SOP,  kickback or “commission”.

We still are hoping that somehow we will see King Tura's old form back, the fiery manager that he was when he brought forth vast development to the kingdom. At the way he runs the show now, we can no longer expect him to lead this kingdom out of the mediocrity that it is gradually drifting into! So this is Reporma kag Pagbag-o that he touted around when he was still wooing voters in the last elections?

King Tura, wake up before it's too late!

Grand Plan at the Kingdom by the River (24)

By Peter G. Jimenea/ Hole of Justice

I tried to zero, in my past columns, only on Hydrocephallus who did everything fair and foul to expand his clout at the Kingdom by the River. But I think I have to widen my shooting range this time to include high officials in the Kingdom by the River complicit with him. 

Official abuse is glaring and King Tura is acting like a blind donkey, asleep in blissful ignorance of what's going on around him.

Hydrocephallus is the most tangible sign of “success” of Reporma kag Pagb ag-o that King Tura promised during his campaign to woo voters of the Kingdom by the  River.

Hydrocephallus expanded his clout. Using his hypnotic spell on King Tura who shows signs of being overtaken by senility, he had the latter sign an illegal executive order creating a new office, the Kawpid. In effect, King Tura usurped the power of parliament.

Parliament neither dissolved nor created an office. It was just taken for a ride when it approved the budget proposal without knowing that one item in it combined the budgets for three sections, namely, the Caw-Caw of Hydrocephallus, the KIO of Ma’am Malou and the Radyo Mo.

The next that Hydrocephallus did was hypnotized King Tura again using the clout of Dok Kagaw, the kingdom butler, to sign another executive order naming him “boss-tsip” of the combined offices. That’s illegal. A new plantilla was created and Hydroceophallus sought a promotion, and all that was needed was a mere executive order?

Appointment or promotion to permanent positions has to undergo the procedure called KSB or  “kingdom selection board” which requires that all vacancies be published before they are open for applications.

The KSB interviews and screens applicants and recommends to the king. But, in this case, our hero Hydrocephallus made a shortcut. And he still proudly waves his "qualification", an "MPA" awarded him by the University of Sultant Kudarat. Where is that and when did Hydrocephallus left the kingdom to enroll in USK?

The Kingdom is in disarray now as outcome of Reporma kag Pagbag-o. Procurements are stalled because Team Reporma Pagbag-o created bureaucratic gridlocks. Purchase requests (for medicines and hospital supplies, and agricultural inputs) bid last year yet are not yet delivered. Public service, as result, is hampered, thanks to Reporma kag Pagbag-o.

Hydrocephallus tried to oust Ma’am Malou last January until February but failed. He used Dok Kagaw to scare her by dangling the threat of sanction for “insubordination”. He used Dok Kagaw, Ellen of Troy, Tibakla and Gin Butlog to drop Ma’am Malou and her subordinate from the payroll to compel her to accept her de facto demotion and the impakto promotion of Hydrocephallus. Ma’am Malou and Bikya were denied two months salaries but they held on.

Ma’am Malou slapped Hydrocephallus et al with complaints before the Civil Service Commission. Her case is pending.

Lately, Hydrocephallus and Dok Kagaw declared that the office of Ma’am Malou would be demolished and a new one, a “media lounge” will replace it. Members of the Kingdom Press Corps made that possible by lamely signing the “petition” prepared by Hydrocephallus and Jijimon Mutya and submitted to King Tura for the establishment of a media lounge. It is a one-million project and it will be implemented by negotiated contract.

It’s already a done deal. The one-million construction (and its “commission”) is done deal to evict Ma’am Malou and install Hydrocephallus as the new KIO.

I have spared King Tura in this series. But this time around, I have to ask: what’s going on?

Team Reporma kag Pagbag-o led by Dok Kagaw and Hydrocephallus is bullying your people and you do nothing? Your Pototan and Mina Boys are aghast at such arrogant display of muscle by people who merely hopped in the train after your victory.  

These P & M Boys have burned themselves campaigning for you in the past elections and you turn a deaf ear on them and instead listen to the whispers of Hydrocephallus, Boy Bakling and Dok Kagaw?

I hate to say this, but senility must have overtaken King Tura whom I and fellow denizens of the Kingdom by the River expected to implement an authentic Reporma kag Pagbag-o.

What we see now is open thievery in Hydrocephallus, who was kicked out in 1999 of a national broadsheet for dishonesty (plagiarism).

What we see now is open thievery in Hydrocephallus who was subsequently fired from the Canadian Urban Institute program for dishonesty (immorality, after his own wife Rutchelia complained of his adulterous relationship with his muni-muni named Ratchell Jacerla).

What we see now is open thievery in Hydrocephallus turning his after-office-hours and weekends at the kingdom palace into a motel, principal venue of his trysts with his muni-muni, which his magic wand transformed into “overtime”.

Reporma kag Pagbag-o under King Tura is Hydrocephallus turning the palace into a motel and still profits from that immoral act. He got seven thousand in “ovetime” pay in April and nine-thousand in March.

May kalipay na, may ganansya pa. That’s Reporma kag Pagbag-o of King Tura. And we often hear him warning kunu employees to stop their corrupt practices because he won’t hesitate to fire them even if they are close to him. 

Grand Plan at the Kingdom by the River (23)

By Peter G. Jimenea/ The Beekeeper

Our summer is hot but brief. Easter Sunday evening, April 24, it rained and as usual, our whip-dog, Panay Electric Company, plunged us to darkness anew. That evening, a “baroto” capsized off the Kingdoms by the River and Guam (aras). Its two passengers are  missing. In Eastern Visayas and NE Mindanao, communities evacuated from floods and mudslides.

Disasters are in the horizon with the coming rains; this is not yet late for local governments to prepare.

The Kingdom of the Overpriced Palace has formed the Kingdom Emergency Response (KER), a group of paramedics and rescuers that we see on TV giving first aid and rushing victims of natural and human-caused disasters to hospitals.

The municipalities of the Kingdom by the  River have formed their local disaster risk reduction and management (DRRM) offices that prepare for, and in actual state of calamities, coordinate actions to save communities, and provide relief and rehabilitation services to them.

There is one LGU which is unprepared: the Kingdom by the  River. What’s going on, King Tura?

Imperial Act 10121 requires the creation of the Local Disaster Risk Reduction and Management Office (LDRRMO). Section 12 states: 

Local Disaster Risk Reduction and Management Office (LDRRMO). - (a) There shall be established an LDRRMO in every province, city and municipality, and a Barangay Disaster Risk Reduction and Management Committee (BDRRMC) in every · barangay which shall be responsible for setting the direction, development, implementation and coordination of disaster risk management programs within their territorial jurisdiction.

The message is clear: the LDRRMO is mandatory. I.A. 10121 requires each LGU to allot not less than 5 % of funds taken from regular sources for the LDRRMO. Of the total amount, 30 % shall be for “quick response fund” (QRF).

The message is clear, no ifs, no buts. If the budget of the Kingdom by the River is 2.6 billion, five percent of that must go to the Kingdom Disaster Risk Reduction and Management Office (KDRRMO), that means some 120 million, of which 40 million is for QRF.

Section 21 of the IA 10121 says:

Section 21. Local Disaster Risk Reduction and Management Fund (LDRRMF). - The present Local Calamity Fund shall henceforth be known as the Local Disaster Risk Reduction and Management Fund (LDRRMF). Not less than five percent (5%) of the estimated revenue from regular sources shall be set aside as the LDRRMF to support disaster risk management activities such as, but not limited to, pre-disaster preparedness programs including training, purchasing life-saving rescue equipment, supplies and medicines, for post-disaster activities, and for the payment of premiums on calamity insurance. The LDRRMC shall monitor and evaluate the use and disbursement of the LDRRMF based on the. LDRRMP as incorporated in the local development plans and annual work and financial plan. Upon the recommendation of the LDRRMO and approval of the sanggunian concerned, the LDRRMC may transfer the said fund to support disaster risk reduction work of other LDRRMCs which are declared under state of calamity.
Of the amount appropriated for LDRRMF, thirty percent (30%) shall be allocated as Quick Response Fund (QRF) or stand-by fund for relief and recovery programs in order that situation and living conditions of people In communities or areas stricken by disasters, calamities, epidemics, or complex emergencies, may be normalized as quickly as possible.

The Kingdom by the River has neither an LDRRMO nor budget for it. Should a natural calamity like Bagyo Prank Bilbil strike, it will be caught unprepared. Its calamity fund is not even one-half the mandated amount.  Under IA 10121, the declaration of a state of calamity is enough to authorize a king to release the calamity fund. Under the kingdom ordinance, despite the declaration of a state of calamity, King Tura cannot release a centavo from the disaster fund. He still must beg of the parliament a specific amount.

The Kingdom by the River has no KDRRMO. At present, the job of preparing for, and responding to disasters, is handled by Jery Boy. Even, then, that task is precarious. Hydrocephallus wants to seize that from him.

See the impact of Reporma kag Pagbag-o campaign platform of King Tura, now taking shape in the incompetent Hydrocephallus expanding his fiefdom in the Kingdom by the River?

Hydrocephallus cannot even perform his own tasks as CAW-CAW chief but still schemes to seize the KDRRMO because he is qualified kunu. As proof for that he waves his MPA  (master in public administration) credential.

Hydrocephallus dropped out from his master’s course at Wist. He did not re-enroll but still got the title. He earned the “degree” kunu from, hold your breath, the Sultan Kudarat State University, Tacurong, Sultan Kudarat.

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