Grand Plan at the Kingdom by the River (22)

By Peter G. Jimenea/ Hole of Justice

If you have a FaceBook account and get “invited” by a certain King Tura to be “friend”, reject it. It is only the hydrocepallic twins, namely, Hydrocephallus and Boy Bakling scoring “pogi” points for King Tura who cannot even encode his own name in the word processor.

If you are “friends” of King Tura, click on “account”,  then “privacy setting” that leads you to the notification “unfriend”. If you hit “unfriend”,  you bar Hydrocephallus and Boy Bakling disguised as King Tura from accessing your profile in FaceBook.

Hydrocephallus symbolizes Reporma kag Pagbag-o, battle cry of King Tura in the last elections to capture voters thirsting for reforms and change.

Reporma kag Pagbag-o is seen now in the bids and awards committee (BAC) working at snail pace to bid out purchases calculated to reject the lowest bidders and award the unqualified. Hospital heads are dismayed waiting for the delivery of their requests for medicines and supplies that were bid and awarded last year yet.

Agriculture projects are glitched because farm inputs and seeds bid out months earlier have not arrived yet.

Hydrocephallus, embodiment of Reporma kag Pagbag-o, has the temerity to directly give purchase orders (POs) on favored print and radio outlets for publicity contracts without need for public bidding.

He was hired to write news articles and opinion pieces to promote the public image of the kingdom and the king, and protect them from attacks. However, more than 8 months in office, his output is low: you can count his published works by your fingers yet his laziness pays, he get rewarded for that with taxpayer’s money at P34,000 month monthly.

Early Bird is the one churning news and photo releases daily. His output shames that of Hydrocephallus’s but the latter still has the gall to usurp the post “kingdom information officer” which is occupied by Ma’am Malou, and notwithstanding his incompetence.

I have touched on his failed but persistent attempts to usurp the KIO and suffice it to say that Ma’am Malou already lodged a complaint against Hydrocephallus and his cohorts like Tibakla, Gin Butlog and Ellen of Troy before the Servicio Civil.

Hydrocephallus’s laziness is matched only by his diligence in collecting “overtime” pay. He got P9,000 in March for his “overtime” in February. This April, he got another P7,825.76 representing his overtime pay in March. All are charge against the Office of the King.

Something is wrong here. A lazy bone accorded overtime pay for doing nothing? Is King Tura playing possum or asleep?

Had that scandal happened in the time of King Lean, Hydrocephallus would have been given a dressing down. He might have been in office in the dead of the night and during weekends and holidays but he was not doing overtime; he was with his muni-muni Rutchell Jacerla, a married woman; their togetherness conjures desires unrelated to work at the kingdom.

Once, kingdom butler Doc Kagaw confronted him why he and Rutchell Jacerla had been seen together at Kaw-Kaw chamber from morning until 4 pm of February 27. He admitted to that but denied doing paupas damang or praying the santo rosario. They were there kuno to write a thesis. Whose thesis?

Definitely, not his muni-muni’s since she is not enrolled at all in any master’s course. And definitely not his since he had already dropped-out of a master’s course at the Wist for reasons known only to him.

His adulterous tie with Rutchell Jacerla, among the major factors, was the cause of his termination as communications consultant at the project funded by the Canadian Urban Institute (CUI). His “illegal connection” with his muni-muni also led Doc Jones of Xavier Hospital to slap him multi-million damage suit.

Muni-muni once worked at Xavier’s. Hydrocephallus wanted her promoted so he coerced Ms. Evident, sidekick of Doc Jones, to fire the employee occupying the position. The latter and Doc Jones refused. That enraged him and his muni-muni. Soon, a web page appeared in cyberspace casting filth on Doc Jones and her hospital.

Hydrocephallus is his own enemy. He gave himself away as author of the slanderous web page. And he has nobody else to blame but himself if now, he is barred from leaving the country by a HDO or hold departure order, and soon will be convicted by the court in the civil suit.

Hydrocephallus is trapped in his own his streak of disasters. He would have avoided them had he learned from an earlier disaster when his laziness to gather news led him to lift the works of others verbatim and claim ownership of photos shot by others. A national broadsheet fired him.

Hydrocephallus the plagiarist never learns. He keeps on repeating the same pathetic behaviour. (to be continued)

Grand Plan at the Kingdom of the River (21)

By Peter G. Jimenea/ Hole of Justice

Sin, repentance and redemption popped into my head the past Semana Santa. So does peace and reconciliation, ideals we humans want to attain.

I have wished to lay off my keyboard on Hydrocephallus after churning 20 opinion pieces on his misadventure in the Kingdom by the River. But he is beyond redemption, leaving me no choice but continue heckling him so the public be properly apprised.

Hydrocephallus, for the benefit of new followers, is a new bureaucrat at the Kingdom by the River, as boss chief of Kaw-kaw. Hardly had he warmed his seat from October last year, he schemed and acted accordingly to expand his fiefdom.

He is the key in the “Grand Plan”, an operation to seize control of key offices in the Kingdom in order to pave the way for the transition from the reign of King Tura to Bogart before 2013. The Grand Plan is premised on the scenario that King Tura is very ill and may be unable to finish his term.

Hydrocephallus and his Jijimon media prepared the ground for that by first annexing the Radyo Mo and the Kingdom Information Office head Ma’am Malou who is a co-equal of Hydrocephallus.

Hydrocephallus and gang tried to eject Ma’am Malou but that the latter resisted, holding her ground despite threats. Hydrocephallus and gang tried to bring Ma’am Malou and her assistant Bikya down their knees by withholding their salaries for February.

Ma’am Malou filed a complaint with the Civil Service versus Hydrocephallus et al. She also got a favorable ruling from King Tura who ordered Hydcrocephallus back to his den with the instruction not to disturb her again. King Tura further told Ma’am Malou to push ahead with her administrative complaint.

The Civil Service encourages a government office to resolve disputes among employees at its level by convening a grievance committee. However, failing to form one in two weeks, it investigates on its own.

King Tura has not convened the grievance committee, with that, the ball game goes to the court of the Civil Service.

That should have been a lesson for Hydrocephallus. But he is just beyond redemption. Though he went back to this den, he still resorted to tricks. Not contented in freezing the salaries of Ma’am Malou and Bikya, he further tightened his grip on office supplies, making the KIO the only one in the world that has no bond paper and printer ink.

Why did the executive department, particularly, the budget office, lumped three offices under one budget proposal? Ellen of Troy has to explain that. She is the same person who took the civil service examinations repeatedly and never scored beyond 50.

Hydrocephallus lately reappeared at the KIO and announced he was tearing down some concrete partitions to erect a multi-million media lounge. By what authority does he do that? The KIO does not need any repair at all.

Some weaklings at the press corps tacitly encouraged Hydrocephallus through their inaction. Hydrocephallus has manipulated the press corps to expel David of Mt. Sinai for the lame excuse that he does not attend press corps gatherings. The real reason for that is that David is identified with Boy Mejo, arch-enemy of Hyrdrocephallus.

Hydrocephallus is the epitome of the Reporma kag Pagbag-o platform that King Tura promised in the  campaign period. He was hired to promote the public image of King Tura and the province but he is blowing that due to his highhandedness and laziness, the same cause, among his virtues that forced his employers in the Canadian Urban Institute, to fire him. The other reason, which was as serious, was the complaint by his wife accusing him for adultery.

His officemates corroborated her allegation that he and his muni-muni Ruchella Jacerla, a married woman, converted the office into a motel. Hydrocephallus never learned. He repeats the same stupid act at the Kingdom by the river, bringing his muni-muni on weekends and holidays and wee hours of the night, like what they did last February 27 where they stayed from the morning until 4 pm.

The daily grind of churning press releases is done by Early Bird. Hydrocephallus, usurper of the KIO, produces news releases as rare as a Doodoo. But he still has the gall to claim P9,000 last month in “overtime pay” consisting mainly of his trysts with Ruchelle Jacerla. In other words, he awarded himself a fat overtime pay for his laziness and for turning the Kingdom by the River into the Queen's Court, if you knew what I mean.

Grand Plan at the Kingdom by the River (20)

BY PETER G. JIMENEA, HOLE OF JUSTICE

This space is correct when it warned Ma’am Malou not to let down her guard yet even though King Tura had already ordered Hydrocephallus to go back to his den and never covet her position as Kingdom Information Officer (KIO).

Hydrocephallus merely took a tactical retreat. Like a dog, nagdilap lang sg iya pilas (he merely licked his wounds). News reached me that Hydrocephallus dropped by again at the KIO with a vengeance, with an engineer notifying Ma’am Malou that he was tearing down some walls and partitions to give way to the improvements he was contemplating to do without informing Ma’am Malou.

Ma’am Malou already filed an administrative complaint with the Civil Service Commission against Hydrocephallus and his gang for usurpation, oppression, and illegal demotion.

The subjects of the Kingdom by the River have yet to feel the promise of “pagbag-o” that King Tura vowed during the campaign period.

So far, the only tangible sign of that is the hiring of a plagiarist and a lazy bone to head the CAW-CAW whose first move afterward was to scheme to expand his fiefdom by annexing the territory of Radyo Mo and the KIO and named them together as Kawpid which was illegal. The KIO was created by statute.

I call him “lazy bone” because Hydrocephallus cannot come up with daily outputs; all he can do is copy from others. He is already eight months in office but you can only count his write-ups by your fingers. Compare him to Early Bird who churns press releases daily. And Hyrdrocephallus still fancies himself “information officer”. Compare him to Atty. Pit Song who is more productive; he created a blog which he updates at least twice a week with new pieces and photos. He is more innovative because he links his blog with social networks like Twitter and FaceBook to reach people worldwide.

Hydrocephallus tricked King Tura into signing an executive order creating the Kawpid and naming him as  head. The board did not create the Kawpid. What it did was merely approved an ordinance that consolidated the budgets of the three offices.

The next that Hydrocephallus did was to issue an office order telling Ma’am Malou to scram. Kunu, he was the new KIO and he was taking over.

In the time of King Lean, hospitals never ran out of medicines. Now, procurement requests under the Pagbag-o Regime for hospital supplies and medicines publicly bid in 2010 yet, have not yet been delivered for reasons known only to Team Pagbag-o which has been stirring distasteful news of scandalous public biddings where lowest bidders get disqualified and contracts are awarded to those who bid higher or those who should have been disqualified for not complying to requirements.

CSC rules require the employer (government office) to form a grievance committee within 15 days from receipt of the complaint. Failure to do so would compel the CSC, the central personnel office of the government, to form a committee and conduct an investigation itself. Ma’am Malou filed her complaint with the CSC in March yet.

Oplan Pagbag-o connotes change for the better. It presupposes the Kingdom of the River becoming a better work place.

But what can you expect when its most palpable sign is the assent to power of Hydrocephallus who is  known in the 4^th Estate as lazy bone and plagiarist? He was kicked out of a national daily after local reporters complaint of his industry of copying their stories verbatim, and by-lining their photos.

He was kicked out of an NGO funded by the Canadian Urban Institute (CUI) for oppression and immorality. His own colleagues petitioned management against him for being highhanded, like the way he deals now with Ma’am Malou and her staff. But the more telling blow that threw him out to the cold was his own wife Rutchild who wrote management a letter complaining of his adulterous affair with his muni-muni Ruchella Jacerla. His misfortune aggravated because his own officemates not only corroborated her adulterous affair with his muni-muni, a married woman. They further complained that he would bring his muni-muni to office where they stayed together for hours alone.

That’s what he did last February 27 when he and muni-muni enjoyed each other’s presence inside his locked office from morning until 4 o’clock in the afternoon. According to him, he was only writing a thesis.

How could he write one when he already dropped out of his master’s studies at the West V? He cannot say he was helping his muni-muni do a thesis since she has not even enrolled in any post-grad course.

What compounded the problem is that he still converted their togetherness into an “overtime”, like what we commonly refer to as "C2C" or "converte to cash". Last month, Hydrocephallus collected 9,000 more on top of his salary in “overtime”.

If King Lean is busy doing the rounds and is gaining the admiration of disgusted elements in the circle of King Tura, all I can say: what you are seeing is a phenomenon that is bound to happen because the power play by Hydrocephallus and his gang can never, never be called “pagbag-o”.

Grand Plan at the Kingdom by the River (19)

By Peter G. Jimenea/ Hole of Justice

               

Hydrocephallus, erstwhile usurper to, and still covets, the Kingdom Information Office (KIO), admits he and his muni-muni Ritchiel Jacerla spent the whole day in his office at the palace of the Kingdom by the River last February 27, a Sunday, as yours truly exposed it here.

However, he denied having turned his office into a motel, the same charge that cost him his job earlier as communication consultant to a quasi-government project funded by the Canadian Urban Institute (CUI). Well, he lost it after his enraged wife Rutchild formally complained, which his co-employees corroborated.

Accordingly, he spent weekends there not to paupas damang but to write a thesis. I don’t know whose thesis they are working on, definitely not his muni-muni who is not in school; definitely not his because he dropped out from a master’s course.

If indeed, they were writing a thesis, it must be a lengthy one and he must have expended a lot of “ink”and tissue paper, if you know what I mean.

For his feat of spending weekends in office,  Hydrocephallus reaped a windfall by turning them into “overtime” for which he collected 9,000 in overtime pay for the month of March alone.

Meanwhile, the travails of Ma’am Malou and the kingdom information office still lingers on despite King Tura’s order that she stay and Hydrocephallus to refrain from usurping her position. Hydrocephallus still holds the purse of the KIO and use that to make life hard for its personnel by withholding its procurement. To date, the KIO has no printer ink, no bond paper and other supplies because Hydrocephallus, who was kicked out of a national daily for plagiarism, sits on its purchase requests.

***

Section 12 Republic Act 10121 mandates the creation of a “disaster risk reduction and management office” (DRRMO) in every LGU.

RA 10121, known as Disaster Risk Reduction and Management (DRRM) Act of 2010 further obligates in Section 21 all LGUs to allot at least five percent of their revenues from regular sources for the DRRM office. Of the amount, 30 percent is to be set as “standby” or “quick response fund” to enable LGUs to respond to calamities immediately.

The DRRM Act took effect last year and by this time, LGUs must have already complied with it. However, sad to say, two premier kingdoms, namely, the Kingdom by the Lunok (temporarily by the Mall) and the Kingdom by the River have been stricken by amnesia. They forgot the law and their duties to create their respective DRRMOs.

When natural disaster strikes, these two kingdoms will surely be caught with their pants down as literally as Hydrocephallus was caught with his muni-muni.

During King Lean’s reign, the kingdom allotted five percent of the internal revenue allotment or IRA for disaster preparedness. There was no Kingdom DRRM office yet but King Lean responded quickly to the calamity by Bagyo Prank. After the declaration of the state of calamity, he quickly released funds to procure relief goods and rushed them to his subjects.

Today, the 100 million or so disaster fund for the Kingdom by the River is not yet in place. The program that King Tura submitted to parliament was disapproved. The five percent DRRM fund is automatic, there is no need to debate on that. The law requires LGUs to spell a program how that would be disbursed.

When calamity strikes, King Tura has to convene parliament and report on the extent of damages. If parliament declared a state of calamity, that would give King Tura a free hand tani to immediately disburse 30 percent for quick response, but he could not because his program and subsequently, the budget, were disapproved gani.

If parliament placed the kingdom in a state of calamity, King Tura can do nothing because the DRRM fund has not been appropriated, his disaster response program disapproved by parliament through a tricky provision that requires him to seek parliament approval every time he wants to disburse the calamity fund. He innocently signed the ordinance that spelled his own doom. The person, whoever he may be, who tricked him into signing it should be hanged. The ordinance did not pass through the scrutiny of either Jery B, secretary of the calamity coordinating council or Papa Dionisio, kingdom attorney.

Nuestra Señora de Patarasak (7)

By Peter G. Jimenea/ Hole of Justice

What? La Nuestra Señora de Patarasak suddenly seeing the light and now is leading the signature campaign to erase the Ginharian Water District (GWD) off the map?

I had promised to stop writing unflattering commentaries on La Nuestra Señora de Pararasak after he personally approached me, shook my hand and asked me to be his friend, instead of as target of my comments.

In fairness to him, he got out of his way and for more than three months, I held my peace hoping he would mend his ways. Even the Great Union who hosted a media gathering at his house when yours truly and La Nuestra Señora crossed path, was happy that yours truly and La Nuestra Señora de Patarasak came to terms right under his roof.

But I am constrained to break my word. In the first place, he left me no choice. He was the first to break his unwritten one. I had agreed to stop hitting him on the premise that he changed his ways. But he never did that nor kept his word.

His initiative to have a signature campaign in the kingdom to abolish the GWD misses the mark. I would have left him that way with the assurance that his move is doomed to fail after all, only Congress, not him can blot GWD out of existence. But, I am apprehensive that no matter how idiotic and stupid his premises might be, he would still have his way because power is  now in the hands of h is cabal.

His cabal comprises a pack of moneyed and powerful people determined to privatize the GWD so to reap for themselves superprofits from selling a commodity that only nature can provide, that is, water and the corporation that taxpayers had established since 1920.

KWD can only supply water to 20 percent of households in the Kingdom by the Lunok, now temporarily by the Mall because Datu Sarip Awak, then the king, did not bother to build a new palace during his 9-year reign but instead, contented renting the whole floor of the Mall for “millions” of reasons.

It has been that way and will still be in the future because the government corporation is sick. It is sick because of a virus. It is sick and needs immediate medication but Nuestra Señora de Patarasak is just so determined to privatize it that he shamelessly commits acts meant to kill it.

You have a sick child but instead of curing it, you would rather hire one to kill it, instead of the virus causing the ailment?

That’s what exactly what La Nuestra Señora de Patarasak did. Instead of kicking the butts of the members of the board of directors, he launched a signature campaign meant to obliterate the GWD off the map.

The  virus is the directorate comprising of wealthy people who prefer to consider public welfare and transparency as the least of their priority. Behind the virus, este, directorate is Datu Manhangin, a radio mogul whose name is cursed not only by his employees but even by his siblings for his inordinate greed.

Behind the virus, este, board, is Kung Hei Fatchoy, the overweight, tripled-chin bureaucrat whose only legacyin the kingdom is constructing the Hole of Injustice which is so graft laden that his first move after returning to parliament was to allot a huge budget to repaint it so to cover up the long and huge cracks arround it. The make-up merely proves suspicion that that the edifice is graft laden and substandard, so overpriced that even the whole log-size leg of Kung Hei Fatchoy can fit into these cracks.

They aim to privatize the GWD and reap super-profits. To do that, the virus, este, the directorate, advocated policies primarily intended to kill the patient instead of the virus. 

Virus Jarden owes the GWD some 300,000 in unpaid water bills and still refuses to pay it the last three years yet he still has the gall to declare that the culprit is the manager Haymilee, who as manager, has no choice but confine his decisions on the policies laid down by the virus, err, directorate.

He should have been the first to go but the mafia would rather turn the other way and instead gang up on the hapless Haymilee, the general manager, for imaginary violation.