Grand Plan at the Kingdom by the River (12)

BY PETER G. JIMENEA/ HOLE OF JUSTICE

In my 11^th piece filed here on March 1, I wrote: “After this piece, I am momentarily suspending subsequent sequels. I want to believe this assurance myself unless provoked again”.

I am constrained to write a sequel anew. Hydrocephallus is just incorrigible. I thought that the dressing down he got from King Tura last February 28 gave him enough lesson on being humane. He is still the same scheming and insidious person I have known.

For those who haven’t read earlier episodes, Hydrocephallus is one lucky guy posted to head the Kawkaw Division of the Kingdom by the River last September, as an accommodation by King Tura to Bogart his backer. He had no academic attainment nor experience to qualify, he is no t even a civil service eligible, yet King Tura still accommodated him.

However, in so short a period, he schemed with Dok Kagaw to expand his dominion by “dissolving” three offices, namely his Kawkaw, the Kingdom Information Office (KIO) and the Radyo Mo, and merged them into Kawpid, a spurious creature created neither by law nor ordinance, and of course, with himself as head of it.

He swung and keeps on swinging his arms wide and hit others in the process. He claimed to be the new KIO and to prove that, he attempted to evict Ma’am Malou, the KIO since the reign of King Rading. He had Ma’am Malou’s position renamed “Administrative Officer V” and no longer head of the KIO.

Ma’am Malou, however, refused to take her de facto demotion sitting down. She did not sign her new appointment. Angered by her resistance, Hydrocephallus and his co-conspirators, namely, the ravishing Tibakla and Gin Butlog,  deleted the names of Ma’am Malou and her assistant Bikya from the payroll.

Last February 28, Ma’am Malou and Bikya approached King Tura and informed him of her intention to file a complaint against Hydrocephallus and his co-conspirators. King Tura was sympathetic. He encouraged her to proceed with her case as it was her right. He further gave Hydrocehallus and Tibakla a thorough dressing down in the presence of Ma’am Malou and Bikya.

King Tura ordered Hydrocephallus and  Tibakla as follows: a) Ma’am Malou was not demoted, thus, could not be evicted from her office at the second floor of the palace of the Kingdom by the River; b) the ones to do daily press releases are Hydrocephallus and Early Riser, and they had to do that at the former’s office at the 4^th floor; and c) the February salaries of Ma’am Malou and Bikya had to be released immediately.

Hydrocephallus and  Tibakla nodded in the presence of King Tura but schemed again to make life hard for the two women by requiring them to cross seven seas and seven mountains to get their wages. Hydrocephallus slept on the January daily time records of Ma’am Malou and Bikya for four days.

King Tura gave the order to release the salaries of the two employees on February 28 yet. But Ma’am Malou and Bikya were informed by the human resource office and the accounting that they had to submit also their daily time records (DTRs) for the month of February. So, instead of “immediately”, compliance may take weeks.

The accountant who issued that requirement must be still in grade one section 10. In government payroll system, it is the record of the previous month that is the basis for the release of salary of the current month. So had Hydrocephallus and Tibakla released the February salaries of the two in the same month, submission of the January  DTRs suffices.

I haver vowed to SO (suspend offensives) this time  but Hydrocephallus and his ilk Tibakla are just too incorrigible. He deserves scant respect from media colleagues who know him throughout as a plagiarist, the reason he was booted out from a national broadsheet.

From September until today, he has not written a single press release and left that burden to do that on Early Riser. He is busier scheming how to spend the 9.7 million budget that the parliament mistakenly appropriated for Kawpid which is a fictitious, if not illegal, entity.

The only thing he has done so far, aside from his botched attempt to kick Ma’am Malou out, is his success in turning the palace into a motel, like what he did last February 27 when he and his muni-muni Ritz Jazerla made “paupas damang” from morning until 4 pm in his office.

Their “Grand Plan” has gone pfffftttt! Bistado na!