Grand Plan at the Kingdom by the River (22)

By Peter G. Jimenea/ Hole of Justice

If you have a FaceBook account and get “invited” by a certain King Tura to be “friend”, reject it. It is only the hydrocepallic twins, namely, Hydrocephallus and Boy Bakling scoring “pogi” points for King Tura who cannot even encode his own name in the word processor.

If you are “friends” of King Tura, click on “account”,  then “privacy setting” that leads you to the notification “unfriend”. If you hit “unfriend”,  you bar Hydrocephallus and Boy Bakling disguised as King Tura from accessing your profile in FaceBook.

Hydrocephallus symbolizes Reporma kag Pagbag-o, battle cry of King Tura in the last elections to capture voters thirsting for reforms and change.

Reporma kag Pagbag-o is seen now in the bids and awards committee (BAC) working at snail pace to bid out purchases calculated to reject the lowest bidders and award the unqualified. Hospital heads are dismayed waiting for the delivery of their requests for medicines and supplies that were bid and awarded last year yet.

Agriculture projects are glitched because farm inputs and seeds bid out months earlier have not arrived yet.

Hydrocephallus, embodiment of Reporma kag Pagbag-o, has the temerity to directly give purchase orders (POs) on favored print and radio outlets for publicity contracts without need for public bidding.

He was hired to write news articles and opinion pieces to promote the public image of the kingdom and the king, and protect them from attacks. However, more than 8 months in office, his output is low: you can count his published works by your fingers yet his laziness pays, he get rewarded for that with taxpayer’s money at P34,000 month monthly.

Early Bird is the one churning news and photo releases daily. His output shames that of Hydrocephallus’s but the latter still has the gall to usurp the post “kingdom information officer” which is occupied by Ma’am Malou, and notwithstanding his incompetence.

I have touched on his failed but persistent attempts to usurp the KIO and suffice it to say that Ma’am Malou already lodged a complaint against Hydrocephallus and his cohorts like Tibakla, Gin Butlog and Ellen of Troy before the Servicio Civil.

Hydrocephallus’s laziness is matched only by his diligence in collecting “overtime” pay. He got P9,000 in March for his “overtime” in February. This April, he got another P7,825.76 representing his overtime pay in March. All are charge against the Office of the King.

Something is wrong here. A lazy bone accorded overtime pay for doing nothing? Is King Tura playing possum or asleep?

Had that scandal happened in the time of King Lean, Hydrocephallus would have been given a dressing down. He might have been in office in the dead of the night and during weekends and holidays but he was not doing overtime; he was with his muni-muni Rutchell Jacerla, a married woman; their togetherness conjures desires unrelated to work at the kingdom.

Once, kingdom butler Doc Kagaw confronted him why he and Rutchell Jacerla had been seen together at Kaw-Kaw chamber from morning until 4 pm of February 27. He admitted to that but denied doing paupas damang or praying the santo rosario. They were there kuno to write a thesis. Whose thesis?

Definitely, not his muni-muni’s since she is not enrolled at all in any master’s course. And definitely not his since he had already dropped-out of a master’s course at the Wist for reasons known only to him.

His adulterous tie with Rutchell Jacerla, among the major factors, was the cause of his termination as communications consultant at the project funded by the Canadian Urban Institute (CUI). His “illegal connection” with his muni-muni also led Doc Jones of Xavier Hospital to slap him multi-million damage suit.

Muni-muni once worked at Xavier’s. Hydrocephallus wanted her promoted so he coerced Ms. Evident, sidekick of Doc Jones, to fire the employee occupying the position. The latter and Doc Jones refused. That enraged him and his muni-muni. Soon, a web page appeared in cyberspace casting filth on Doc Jones and her hospital.

Hydrocephallus is his own enemy. He gave himself away as author of the slanderous web page. And he has nobody else to blame but himself if now, he is barred from leaving the country by a HDO or hold departure order, and soon will be convicted by the court in the civil suit.

Hydrocephallus is trapped in his own his streak of disasters. He would have avoided them had he learned from an earlier disaster when his laziness to gather news led him to lift the works of others verbatim and claim ownership of photos shot by others. A national broadsheet fired him.

Hydrocephallus the plagiarist never learns. He keeps on repeating the same pathetic behaviour. (to be continued)