Grand Plan in the Kingdom by the River (25)

By Peter  G. Jimenea/  HOLE OF JUSTICE

King Tura declared he would plant a million trees in the Kingdom by the River this year. His subjects rejoice, including your Hole of Justice. He did great things with the kingdom's forest in his previous nine years term.

His successor King Lean neglected that aspect of governance when he took over from King Tura.

He emphasized fruit and native trees so that aside from the regreening,  people in the immediate area shall have food and livelihood. Native trees will not pose dangers of exotic pests colonizing the kingdom's forests or dislodging others in the ecosystem. In areas where native trees and fruits may be slow to establish, there will be options to plant exotic species like gmelina and African mahogany.

So King Tura ordered the kingdom's aquaculturist, este, agriculturist to mobilize the preparation of 1 million tree seedlings last January with the target of at least 80,000 seedlings per month so that by the end of the year, the target can be met. He also enlisted the dukes of the municipalities to complement his effort.

It is now middle of May or over four months since his decree and the kingdom's nursery has produced a little more than 5,000 seedlings, a far cry from the supposed 300,000 after four months of operation. What’s the problem or problems?

One reason may be is in the procurement process. The head aquaculturist has not received his orders for the 1 million plastic bags needed because the kingdom's BAC is making it hard for bidders to comply with the requirements. It created bureaucratic gridlocks, instead of simplifying the process.

Their singular reason is that they don't want to be tainted with corruption, as if there is no corruption at all. Even the river silt they use as potting material is so limited because the aquaculturist cannot coordinate with the kingdom's engineer to request for several dumptrucks of this potting material.

The biggest problem however is where to get the funds for these materials and the labor needed for potting, planting and maintenance until the seedlings are ready for planting.

King Tura's dream of 1 million trees is just that: a dream. What is happening here?  He appointed charlatans in the top level management to run the BAC. One of these BACbakan charlatans had mired his hands in a 15-million ghost medicine delivery scam, when he was still assigned as royal jester in the court of Madame Tut-po. And he still has the guts to parade himself as “Mr,. Clean”.

We refrained from directly attacking King Tura in the past and instead merely pointed out his missteps in the appointment of Hydrocephalus and Dok Kagaw who are throwing their weight around like anointed sons of god almighty.

His followers from the fiefdoms of Pototan and Mina simply grumbled in silence by these appointments, opting instead to wait and watch by the side on how the abusive Hydrocephalus is slowly eroding the clean and competent image of the Toto king.

But here come incompetence by royal ministers of the kingdom. The role of an aquaculturist managing the agriculture department leaves much to be desired. Is King Tura turning the whole province into the Venice of the Empire? Is he blind to the fact that being a quack doctor doesn't make one competent to implement agricultural programs?

Incompetence and official arrogance also stokes the seething rage among the subjects who to date, have yet to receive their clothing allowance worth P4,000 each. This amount is supposed to be due by the first month of the year. What’s going on, King Tura?

The smart boys appointed by King Tura, namely,  Dok Kagaw and Hydrocephallus, want a slice of the budget so they prevailed on the king to release the clothing allowance, not as cash, but in kind. That means, the subjects will receive only their finished uniforms.

The subjects smell rat here. The clothing allowance will be bid out to tailoring shops and the subjects will get only the finished product. That arrangement is prone to the technique of converting goods into cash.  This is a a racket,  and they want shares from the SOP,  kickback or “commission”.

We still are hoping that somehow we will see King Tura's old form back, the fiery manager that he was when he brought forth vast development to the kingdom. At the way he runs the show now, we can no longer expect him to lead this kingdom out of the mediocrity that it is gradually drifting into! So this is Reporma kag Pagbag-o that he touted around when he was still wooing voters in the last elections?

King Tura, wake up before it's too late!

Grand Plan at the Kingdom by the River (24)

By Peter G. Jimenea/ Hole of Justice

I tried to zero, in my past columns, only on Hydrocephallus who did everything fair and foul to expand his clout at the Kingdom by the River. But I think I have to widen my shooting range this time to include high officials in the Kingdom by the River complicit with him. 

Official abuse is glaring and King Tura is acting like a blind donkey, asleep in blissful ignorance of what's going on around him.

Hydrocephallus is the most tangible sign of “success” of Reporma kag Pagb ag-o that King Tura promised during his campaign to woo voters of the Kingdom by the  River.

Hydrocephallus expanded his clout. Using his hypnotic spell on King Tura who shows signs of being overtaken by senility, he had the latter sign an illegal executive order creating a new office, the Kawpid. In effect, King Tura usurped the power of parliament.

Parliament neither dissolved nor created an office. It was just taken for a ride when it approved the budget proposal without knowing that one item in it combined the budgets for three sections, namely, the Caw-Caw of Hydrocephallus, the KIO of Ma’am Malou and the Radyo Mo.

The next that Hydrocephallus did was hypnotized King Tura again using the clout of Dok Kagaw, the kingdom butler, to sign another executive order naming him “boss-tsip” of the combined offices. That’s illegal. A new plantilla was created and Hydroceophallus sought a promotion, and all that was needed was a mere executive order?

Appointment or promotion to permanent positions has to undergo the procedure called KSB or  “kingdom selection board” which requires that all vacancies be published before they are open for applications.

The KSB interviews and screens applicants and recommends to the king. But, in this case, our hero Hydrocephallus made a shortcut. And he still proudly waves his "qualification", an "MPA" awarded him by the University of Sultant Kudarat. Where is that and when did Hydrocephallus left the kingdom to enroll in USK?

The Kingdom is in disarray now as outcome of Reporma kag Pagbag-o. Procurements are stalled because Team Reporma Pagbag-o created bureaucratic gridlocks. Purchase requests (for medicines and hospital supplies, and agricultural inputs) bid last year yet are not yet delivered. Public service, as result, is hampered, thanks to Reporma kag Pagbag-o.

Hydrocephallus tried to oust Ma’am Malou last January until February but failed. He used Dok Kagaw to scare her by dangling the threat of sanction for “insubordination”. He used Dok Kagaw, Ellen of Troy, Tibakla and Gin Butlog to drop Ma’am Malou and her subordinate from the payroll to compel her to accept her de facto demotion and the impakto promotion of Hydrocephallus. Ma’am Malou and Bikya were denied two months salaries but they held on.

Ma’am Malou slapped Hydrocephallus et al with complaints before the Civil Service Commission. Her case is pending.

Lately, Hydrocephallus and Dok Kagaw declared that the office of Ma’am Malou would be demolished and a new one, a “media lounge” will replace it. Members of the Kingdom Press Corps made that possible by lamely signing the “petition” prepared by Hydrocephallus and Jijimon Mutya and submitted to King Tura for the establishment of a media lounge. It is a one-million project and it will be implemented by negotiated contract.

It’s already a done deal. The one-million construction (and its “commission”) is done deal to evict Ma’am Malou and install Hydrocephallus as the new KIO.

I have spared King Tura in this series. But this time around, I have to ask: what’s going on?

Team Reporma kag Pagbag-o led by Dok Kagaw and Hydrocephallus is bullying your people and you do nothing? Your Pototan and Mina Boys are aghast at such arrogant display of muscle by people who merely hopped in the train after your victory.  

These P & M Boys have burned themselves campaigning for you in the past elections and you turn a deaf ear on them and instead listen to the whispers of Hydrocephallus, Boy Bakling and Dok Kagaw?

I hate to say this, but senility must have overtaken King Tura whom I and fellow denizens of the Kingdom by the River expected to implement an authentic Reporma kag Pagbag-o.

What we see now is open thievery in Hydrocephallus, who was kicked out in 1999 of a national broadsheet for dishonesty (plagiarism).

What we see now is open thievery in Hydrocephallus who was subsequently fired from the Canadian Urban Institute program for dishonesty (immorality, after his own wife Rutchelia complained of his adulterous relationship with his muni-muni named Ratchell Jacerla).

What we see now is open thievery in Hydrocephallus turning his after-office-hours and weekends at the kingdom palace into a motel, principal venue of his trysts with his muni-muni, which his magic wand transformed into “overtime”.

Reporma kag Pagbag-o under King Tura is Hydrocephallus turning the palace into a motel and still profits from that immoral act. He got seven thousand in “ovetime” pay in April and nine-thousand in March.

May kalipay na, may ganansya pa. That’s Reporma kag Pagbag-o of King Tura. And we often hear him warning kunu employees to stop their corrupt practices because he won’t hesitate to fire them even if they are close to him. 

Grand Plan at the Kingdom by the River (23)

By Peter G. Jimenea/ The Beekeeper

Our summer is hot but brief. Easter Sunday evening, April 24, it rained and as usual, our whip-dog, Panay Electric Company, plunged us to darkness anew. That evening, a “baroto” capsized off the Kingdoms by the River and Guam (aras). Its two passengers are  missing. In Eastern Visayas and NE Mindanao, communities evacuated from floods and mudslides.

Disasters are in the horizon with the coming rains; this is not yet late for local governments to prepare.

The Kingdom of the Overpriced Palace has formed the Kingdom Emergency Response (KER), a group of paramedics and rescuers that we see on TV giving first aid and rushing victims of natural and human-caused disasters to hospitals.

The municipalities of the Kingdom by the  River have formed their local disaster risk reduction and management (DRRM) offices that prepare for, and in actual state of calamities, coordinate actions to save communities, and provide relief and rehabilitation services to them.

There is one LGU which is unprepared: the Kingdom by the  River. What’s going on, King Tura?

Imperial Act 10121 requires the creation of the Local Disaster Risk Reduction and Management Office (LDRRMO). Section 12 states: 

Local Disaster Risk Reduction and Management Office (LDRRMO). - (a) There shall be established an LDRRMO in every province, city and municipality, and a Barangay Disaster Risk Reduction and Management Committee (BDRRMC) in every · barangay which shall be responsible for setting the direction, development, implementation and coordination of disaster risk management programs within their territorial jurisdiction.

The message is clear: the LDRRMO is mandatory. I.A. 10121 requires each LGU to allot not less than 5 % of funds taken from regular sources for the LDRRMO. Of the total amount, 30 % shall be for “quick response fund” (QRF).

The message is clear, no ifs, no buts. If the budget of the Kingdom by the River is 2.6 billion, five percent of that must go to the Kingdom Disaster Risk Reduction and Management Office (KDRRMO), that means some 120 million, of which 40 million is for QRF.

Section 21 of the IA 10121 says:

Section 21. Local Disaster Risk Reduction and Management Fund (LDRRMF). - The present Local Calamity Fund shall henceforth be known as the Local Disaster Risk Reduction and Management Fund (LDRRMF). Not less than five percent (5%) of the estimated revenue from regular sources shall be set aside as the LDRRMF to support disaster risk management activities such as, but not limited to, pre-disaster preparedness programs including training, purchasing life-saving rescue equipment, supplies and medicines, for post-disaster activities, and for the payment of premiums on calamity insurance. The LDRRMC shall monitor and evaluate the use and disbursement of the LDRRMF based on the. LDRRMP as incorporated in the local development plans and annual work and financial plan. Upon the recommendation of the LDRRMO and approval of the sanggunian concerned, the LDRRMC may transfer the said fund to support disaster risk reduction work of other LDRRMCs which are declared under state of calamity.
Of the amount appropriated for LDRRMF, thirty percent (30%) shall be allocated as Quick Response Fund (QRF) or stand-by fund for relief and recovery programs in order that situation and living conditions of people In communities or areas stricken by disasters, calamities, epidemics, or complex emergencies, may be normalized as quickly as possible.

The Kingdom by the River has neither an LDRRMO nor budget for it. Should a natural calamity like Bagyo Prank Bilbil strike, it will be caught unprepared. Its calamity fund is not even one-half the mandated amount.  Under IA 10121, the declaration of a state of calamity is enough to authorize a king to release the calamity fund. Under the kingdom ordinance, despite the declaration of a state of calamity, King Tura cannot release a centavo from the disaster fund. He still must beg of the parliament a specific amount.

The Kingdom by the River has no KDRRMO. At present, the job of preparing for, and responding to disasters, is handled by Jery Boy. Even, then, that task is precarious. Hydrocephallus wants to seize that from him.

See the impact of Reporma kag Pagbag-o campaign platform of King Tura, now taking shape in the incompetent Hydrocephallus expanding his fiefdom in the Kingdom by the River?

Hydrocephallus cannot even perform his own tasks as CAW-CAW chief but still schemes to seize the KDRRMO because he is qualified kunu. As proof for that he waves his MPA  (master in public administration) credential.

Hydrocephallus dropped out from his master’s course at Wist. He did not re-enroll but still got the title. He earned the “degree” kunu from, hold your breath, the Sultan Kudarat State University, Tacurong, Sultan Kudarat.

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Grand Plan at the Kingdom by the River (22)

By Peter G. Jimenea/ Hole of Justice

If you have a FaceBook account and get “invited” by a certain King Tura to be “friend”, reject it. It is only the hydrocepallic twins, namely, Hydrocephallus and Boy Bakling scoring “pogi” points for King Tura who cannot even encode his own name in the word processor.

If you are “friends” of King Tura, click on “account”,  then “privacy setting” that leads you to the notification “unfriend”. If you hit “unfriend”,  you bar Hydrocephallus and Boy Bakling disguised as King Tura from accessing your profile in FaceBook.

Hydrocephallus symbolizes Reporma kag Pagbag-o, battle cry of King Tura in the last elections to capture voters thirsting for reforms and change.

Reporma kag Pagbag-o is seen now in the bids and awards committee (BAC) working at snail pace to bid out purchases calculated to reject the lowest bidders and award the unqualified. Hospital heads are dismayed waiting for the delivery of their requests for medicines and supplies that were bid and awarded last year yet.

Agriculture projects are glitched because farm inputs and seeds bid out months earlier have not arrived yet.

Hydrocephallus, embodiment of Reporma kag Pagbag-o, has the temerity to directly give purchase orders (POs) on favored print and radio outlets for publicity contracts without need for public bidding.

He was hired to write news articles and opinion pieces to promote the public image of the kingdom and the king, and protect them from attacks. However, more than 8 months in office, his output is low: you can count his published works by your fingers yet his laziness pays, he get rewarded for that with taxpayer’s money at P34,000 month monthly.

Early Bird is the one churning news and photo releases daily. His output shames that of Hydrocephallus’s but the latter still has the gall to usurp the post “kingdom information officer” which is occupied by Ma’am Malou, and notwithstanding his incompetence.

I have touched on his failed but persistent attempts to usurp the KIO and suffice it to say that Ma’am Malou already lodged a complaint against Hydrocephallus and his cohorts like Tibakla, Gin Butlog and Ellen of Troy before the Servicio Civil.

Hydrocephallus’s laziness is matched only by his diligence in collecting “overtime” pay. He got P9,000 in March for his “overtime” in February. This April, he got another P7,825.76 representing his overtime pay in March. All are charge against the Office of the King.

Something is wrong here. A lazy bone accorded overtime pay for doing nothing? Is King Tura playing possum or asleep?

Had that scandal happened in the time of King Lean, Hydrocephallus would have been given a dressing down. He might have been in office in the dead of the night and during weekends and holidays but he was not doing overtime; he was with his muni-muni Rutchell Jacerla, a married woman; their togetherness conjures desires unrelated to work at the kingdom.

Once, kingdom butler Doc Kagaw confronted him why he and Rutchell Jacerla had been seen together at Kaw-Kaw chamber from morning until 4 pm of February 27. He admitted to that but denied doing paupas damang or praying the santo rosario. They were there kuno to write a thesis. Whose thesis?

Definitely, not his muni-muni’s since she is not enrolled at all in any master’s course. And definitely not his since he had already dropped-out of a master’s course at the Wist for reasons known only to him.

His adulterous tie with Rutchell Jacerla, among the major factors, was the cause of his termination as communications consultant at the project funded by the Canadian Urban Institute (CUI). His “illegal connection” with his muni-muni also led Doc Jones of Xavier Hospital to slap him multi-million damage suit.

Muni-muni once worked at Xavier’s. Hydrocephallus wanted her promoted so he coerced Ms. Evident, sidekick of Doc Jones, to fire the employee occupying the position. The latter and Doc Jones refused. That enraged him and his muni-muni. Soon, a web page appeared in cyberspace casting filth on Doc Jones and her hospital.

Hydrocephallus is his own enemy. He gave himself away as author of the slanderous web page. And he has nobody else to blame but himself if now, he is barred from leaving the country by a HDO or hold departure order, and soon will be convicted by the court in the civil suit.

Hydrocephallus is trapped in his own his streak of disasters. He would have avoided them had he learned from an earlier disaster when his laziness to gather news led him to lift the works of others verbatim and claim ownership of photos shot by others. A national broadsheet fired him.

Hydrocephallus the plagiarist never learns. He keeps on repeating the same pathetic behaviour. (to be continued)

Grand Plan at the Kingdom of the River (21)

By Peter G. Jimenea/ Hole of Justice

Sin, repentance and redemption popped into my head the past Semana Santa. So does peace and reconciliation, ideals we humans want to attain.

I have wished to lay off my keyboard on Hydrocephallus after churning 20 opinion pieces on his misadventure in the Kingdom by the River. But he is beyond redemption, leaving me no choice but continue heckling him so the public be properly apprised.

Hydrocephallus, for the benefit of new followers, is a new bureaucrat at the Kingdom by the River, as boss chief of Kaw-kaw. Hardly had he warmed his seat from October last year, he schemed and acted accordingly to expand his fiefdom.

He is the key in the “Grand Plan”, an operation to seize control of key offices in the Kingdom in order to pave the way for the transition from the reign of King Tura to Bogart before 2013. The Grand Plan is premised on the scenario that King Tura is very ill and may be unable to finish his term.

Hydrocephallus and his Jijimon media prepared the ground for that by first annexing the Radyo Mo and the Kingdom Information Office head Ma’am Malou who is a co-equal of Hydrocephallus.

Hydrocephallus and gang tried to eject Ma’am Malou but that the latter resisted, holding her ground despite threats. Hydrocephallus and gang tried to bring Ma’am Malou and her assistant Bikya down their knees by withholding their salaries for February.

Ma’am Malou filed a complaint with the Civil Service versus Hydrocephallus et al. She also got a favorable ruling from King Tura who ordered Hydcrocephallus back to his den with the instruction not to disturb her again. King Tura further told Ma’am Malou to push ahead with her administrative complaint.

The Civil Service encourages a government office to resolve disputes among employees at its level by convening a grievance committee. However, failing to form one in two weeks, it investigates on its own.

King Tura has not convened the grievance committee, with that, the ball game goes to the court of the Civil Service.

That should have been a lesson for Hydrocephallus. But he is just beyond redemption. Though he went back to this den, he still resorted to tricks. Not contented in freezing the salaries of Ma’am Malou and Bikya, he further tightened his grip on office supplies, making the KIO the only one in the world that has no bond paper and printer ink.

Why did the executive department, particularly, the budget office, lumped three offices under one budget proposal? Ellen of Troy has to explain that. She is the same person who took the civil service examinations repeatedly and never scored beyond 50.

Hydrocephallus lately reappeared at the KIO and announced he was tearing down some concrete partitions to erect a multi-million media lounge. By what authority does he do that? The KIO does not need any repair at all.

Some weaklings at the press corps tacitly encouraged Hydrocephallus through their inaction. Hydrocephallus has manipulated the press corps to expel David of Mt. Sinai for the lame excuse that he does not attend press corps gatherings. The real reason for that is that David is identified with Boy Mejo, arch-enemy of Hyrdrocephallus.

Hydrocephallus is the epitome of the Reporma kag Pagbag-o platform that King Tura promised in the  campaign period. He was hired to promote the public image of King Tura and the province but he is blowing that due to his highhandedness and laziness, the same cause, among his virtues that forced his employers in the Canadian Urban Institute, to fire him. The other reason, which was as serious, was the complaint by his wife accusing him for adultery.

His officemates corroborated her allegation that he and his muni-muni Ruchella Jacerla, a married woman, converted the office into a motel. Hydrocephallus never learned. He repeats the same stupid act at the Kingdom by the river, bringing his muni-muni on weekends and holidays and wee hours of the night, like what they did last February 27 where they stayed from the morning until 4 pm.

The daily grind of churning press releases is done by Early Bird. Hydrocephallus, usurper of the KIO, produces news releases as rare as a Doodoo. But he still has the gall to claim P9,000 last month in “overtime pay” consisting mainly of his trysts with Ruchelle Jacerla. In other words, he awarded himself a fat overtime pay for his laziness and for turning the Kingdom by the River into the Queen's Court, if you knew what I mean.

Grand Plan at the Kingdom by the River (20)

BY PETER G. JIMENEA, HOLE OF JUSTICE

This space is correct when it warned Ma’am Malou not to let down her guard yet even though King Tura had already ordered Hydrocephallus to go back to his den and never covet her position as Kingdom Information Officer (KIO).

Hydrocephallus merely took a tactical retreat. Like a dog, nagdilap lang sg iya pilas (he merely licked his wounds). News reached me that Hydrocephallus dropped by again at the KIO with a vengeance, with an engineer notifying Ma’am Malou that he was tearing down some walls and partitions to give way to the improvements he was contemplating to do without informing Ma’am Malou.

Ma’am Malou already filed an administrative complaint with the Civil Service Commission against Hydrocephallus and his gang for usurpation, oppression, and illegal demotion.

The subjects of the Kingdom by the River have yet to feel the promise of “pagbag-o” that King Tura vowed during the campaign period.

So far, the only tangible sign of that is the hiring of a plagiarist and a lazy bone to head the CAW-CAW whose first move afterward was to scheme to expand his fiefdom by annexing the territory of Radyo Mo and the KIO and named them together as Kawpid which was illegal. The KIO was created by statute.

I call him “lazy bone” because Hydrocephallus cannot come up with daily outputs; all he can do is copy from others. He is already eight months in office but you can only count his write-ups by your fingers. Compare him to Early Bird who churns press releases daily. And Hyrdrocephallus still fancies himself “information officer”. Compare him to Atty. Pit Song who is more productive; he created a blog which he updates at least twice a week with new pieces and photos. He is more innovative because he links his blog with social networks like Twitter and FaceBook to reach people worldwide.

Hydrocephallus tricked King Tura into signing an executive order creating the Kawpid and naming him as  head. The board did not create the Kawpid. What it did was merely approved an ordinance that consolidated the budgets of the three offices.

The next that Hydrocephallus did was to issue an office order telling Ma’am Malou to scram. Kunu, he was the new KIO and he was taking over.

In the time of King Lean, hospitals never ran out of medicines. Now, procurement requests under the Pagbag-o Regime for hospital supplies and medicines publicly bid in 2010 yet, have not yet been delivered for reasons known only to Team Pagbag-o which has been stirring distasteful news of scandalous public biddings where lowest bidders get disqualified and contracts are awarded to those who bid higher or those who should have been disqualified for not complying to requirements.

CSC rules require the employer (government office) to form a grievance committee within 15 days from receipt of the complaint. Failure to do so would compel the CSC, the central personnel office of the government, to form a committee and conduct an investigation itself. Ma’am Malou filed her complaint with the CSC in March yet.

Oplan Pagbag-o connotes change for the better. It presupposes the Kingdom of the River becoming a better work place.

But what can you expect when its most palpable sign is the assent to power of Hydrocephallus who is  known in the 4^th Estate as lazy bone and plagiarist? He was kicked out of a national daily after local reporters complaint of his industry of copying their stories verbatim, and by-lining their photos.

He was kicked out of an NGO funded by the Canadian Urban Institute (CUI) for oppression and immorality. His own colleagues petitioned management against him for being highhanded, like the way he deals now with Ma’am Malou and her staff. But the more telling blow that threw him out to the cold was his own wife Rutchild who wrote management a letter complaining of his adulterous affair with his muni-muni Ruchella Jacerla. His misfortune aggravated because his own officemates not only corroborated her adulterous affair with his muni-muni, a married woman. They further complained that he would bring his muni-muni to office where they stayed together for hours alone.

That’s what he did last February 27 when he and muni-muni enjoyed each other’s presence inside his locked office from morning until 4 o’clock in the afternoon. According to him, he was only writing a thesis.

How could he write one when he already dropped out of his master’s studies at the West V? He cannot say he was helping his muni-muni do a thesis since she has not even enrolled in any post-grad course.

What compounded the problem is that he still converted their togetherness into an “overtime”, like what we commonly refer to as "C2C" or "converte to cash". Last month, Hydrocephallus collected 9,000 more on top of his salary in “overtime”.

If King Lean is busy doing the rounds and is gaining the admiration of disgusted elements in the circle of King Tura, all I can say: what you are seeing is a phenomenon that is bound to happen because the power play by Hydrocephallus and his gang can never, never be called “pagbag-o”.

Grand Plan at the Kingdom by the River (19)

By Peter G. Jimenea/ Hole of Justice

               

Hydrocephallus, erstwhile usurper to, and still covets, the Kingdom Information Office (KIO), admits he and his muni-muni Ritchiel Jacerla spent the whole day in his office at the palace of the Kingdom by the River last February 27, a Sunday, as yours truly exposed it here.

However, he denied having turned his office into a motel, the same charge that cost him his job earlier as communication consultant to a quasi-government project funded by the Canadian Urban Institute (CUI). Well, he lost it after his enraged wife Rutchild formally complained, which his co-employees corroborated.

Accordingly, he spent weekends there not to paupas damang but to write a thesis. I don’t know whose thesis they are working on, definitely not his muni-muni who is not in school; definitely not his because he dropped out from a master’s course.

If indeed, they were writing a thesis, it must be a lengthy one and he must have expended a lot of “ink”and tissue paper, if you know what I mean.

For his feat of spending weekends in office,  Hydrocephallus reaped a windfall by turning them into “overtime” for which he collected 9,000 in overtime pay for the month of March alone.

Meanwhile, the travails of Ma’am Malou and the kingdom information office still lingers on despite King Tura’s order that she stay and Hydrocephallus to refrain from usurping her position. Hydrocephallus still holds the purse of the KIO and use that to make life hard for its personnel by withholding its procurement. To date, the KIO has no printer ink, no bond paper and other supplies because Hydrocephallus, who was kicked out of a national daily for plagiarism, sits on its purchase requests.

***

Section 12 Republic Act 10121 mandates the creation of a “disaster risk reduction and management office” (DRRMO) in every LGU.

RA 10121, known as Disaster Risk Reduction and Management (DRRM) Act of 2010 further obligates in Section 21 all LGUs to allot at least five percent of their revenues from regular sources for the DRRM office. Of the amount, 30 percent is to be set as “standby” or “quick response fund” to enable LGUs to respond to calamities immediately.

The DRRM Act took effect last year and by this time, LGUs must have already complied with it. However, sad to say, two premier kingdoms, namely, the Kingdom by the Lunok (temporarily by the Mall) and the Kingdom by the River have been stricken by amnesia. They forgot the law and their duties to create their respective DRRMOs.

When natural disaster strikes, these two kingdoms will surely be caught with their pants down as literally as Hydrocephallus was caught with his muni-muni.

During King Lean’s reign, the kingdom allotted five percent of the internal revenue allotment or IRA for disaster preparedness. There was no Kingdom DRRM office yet but King Lean responded quickly to the calamity by Bagyo Prank. After the declaration of the state of calamity, he quickly released funds to procure relief goods and rushed them to his subjects.

Today, the 100 million or so disaster fund for the Kingdom by the River is not yet in place. The program that King Tura submitted to parliament was disapproved. The five percent DRRM fund is automatic, there is no need to debate on that. The law requires LGUs to spell a program how that would be disbursed.

When calamity strikes, King Tura has to convene parliament and report on the extent of damages. If parliament declared a state of calamity, that would give King Tura a free hand tani to immediately disburse 30 percent for quick response, but he could not because his program and subsequently, the budget, were disapproved gani.

If parliament placed the kingdom in a state of calamity, King Tura can do nothing because the DRRM fund has not been appropriated, his disaster response program disapproved by parliament through a tricky provision that requires him to seek parliament approval every time he wants to disburse the calamity fund. He innocently signed the ordinance that spelled his own doom. The person, whoever he may be, who tricked him into signing it should be hanged. The ordinance did not pass through the scrutiny of either Jery B, secretary of the calamity coordinating council or Papa Dionisio, kingdom attorney.

Nuestra Señora de Patarasak (7)

By Peter G. Jimenea/ Hole of Justice

What? La Nuestra Señora de Patarasak suddenly seeing the light and now is leading the signature campaign to erase the Ginharian Water District (GWD) off the map?

I had promised to stop writing unflattering commentaries on La Nuestra Señora de Pararasak after he personally approached me, shook my hand and asked me to be his friend, instead of as target of my comments.

In fairness to him, he got out of his way and for more than three months, I held my peace hoping he would mend his ways. Even the Great Union who hosted a media gathering at his house when yours truly and La Nuestra Señora crossed path, was happy that yours truly and La Nuestra Señora de Patarasak came to terms right under his roof.

But I am constrained to break my word. In the first place, he left me no choice. He was the first to break his unwritten one. I had agreed to stop hitting him on the premise that he changed his ways. But he never did that nor kept his word.

His initiative to have a signature campaign in the kingdom to abolish the GWD misses the mark. I would have left him that way with the assurance that his move is doomed to fail after all, only Congress, not him can blot GWD out of existence. But, I am apprehensive that no matter how idiotic and stupid his premises might be, he would still have his way because power is  now in the hands of h is cabal.

His cabal comprises a pack of moneyed and powerful people determined to privatize the GWD so to reap for themselves superprofits from selling a commodity that only nature can provide, that is, water and the corporation that taxpayers had established since 1920.

KWD can only supply water to 20 percent of households in the Kingdom by the Lunok, now temporarily by the Mall because Datu Sarip Awak, then the king, did not bother to build a new palace during his 9-year reign but instead, contented renting the whole floor of the Mall for “millions” of reasons.

It has been that way and will still be in the future because the government corporation is sick. It is sick because of a virus. It is sick and needs immediate medication but Nuestra Señora de Patarasak is just so determined to privatize it that he shamelessly commits acts meant to kill it.

You have a sick child but instead of curing it, you would rather hire one to kill it, instead of the virus causing the ailment?

That’s what exactly what La Nuestra Señora de Patarasak did. Instead of kicking the butts of the members of the board of directors, he launched a signature campaign meant to obliterate the GWD off the map.

The  virus is the directorate comprising of wealthy people who prefer to consider public welfare and transparency as the least of their priority. Behind the virus, este, directorate is Datu Manhangin, a radio mogul whose name is cursed not only by his employees but even by his siblings for his inordinate greed.

Behind the virus, este, board, is Kung Hei Fatchoy, the overweight, tripled-chin bureaucrat whose only legacyin the kingdom is constructing the Hole of Injustice which is so graft laden that his first move after returning to parliament was to allot a huge budget to repaint it so to cover up the long and huge cracks arround it. The make-up merely proves suspicion that that the edifice is graft laden and substandard, so overpriced that even the whole log-size leg of Kung Hei Fatchoy can fit into these cracks.

They aim to privatize the GWD and reap super-profits. To do that, the virus, este, the directorate, advocated policies primarily intended to kill the patient instead of the virus. 

Virus Jarden owes the GWD some 300,000 in unpaid water bills and still refuses to pay it the last three years yet he still has the gall to declare that the culprit is the manager Haymilee, who as manager, has no choice but confine his decisions on the policies laid down by the virus, err, directorate.

He should have been the first to go but the mafia would rather turn the other way and instead gang up on the hapless Haymilee, the general manager, for imaginary violation.

Grand Plan in the Kingdom by the River (18)

By Peter Jimenea/ Hole of Justice

The dust swirled by the rampaging Hydrocephallus is settling down after Kingdom Information Officer (KIO) Ma’am Malou has been restored to her office. King Tura ordered him to back off, and cease and desist from taking over her seat.

However, the storm is not yet over. Hydrocephallus is known for his amnesia, that is, he refuses to learn from mistakes, and repeats the same behavioural pattern that has brought him to perdition in the past.

He threw his weight around and would rather copy others’ write ups which was the reason for his disgraceful exit from the camp of Kalbobo in the early 2000s. He thought he already had it in the bag and printed calling cards identifying himself "bos-tsip-ob-stap". The post went instead to Nuel M.

He had a good life when he was correspondent for a national broadsheet because it complemented his PR business. But his habit of making shortcuts and save on coverage expenses prompted him to lift from other’s stories without bothering to credit his sources much less re-write the pieces instead of copying them en toto.

For a while, he impressed his editors in Manila because he filed two or more stories daily. But it was also the key to his downfall when fellow reporters complained he copied their stories as well as photos. His haste to rise to stardom at others’ expense cost him his job. He was only as prolific as there were the volume of works to copy.

He landed in a quasi-government project, funded by the Canadian Urban Institute (CUI), which earned him a substantial income. He did not last long. His tendency to repeat the same disastrous pattern of behaviour again cost him his job. 


His own wife complained to the institute because he openly flaunted his adulterous relation with Rutzel Jacerla, a married woman, to the point of converting the office into a motel. His wife was backed by officemates who had their own gripe to tell: they had enough of his bossiness on top of his moral depravity.

He did it again, converting his office into a motel, last February 27, at the kingdom palace when he made "paupas damang" with his muni-muni from morning until past 4 pm.

Hydrocephallus could have slowed down and reflected on overcoming his weakness.

But his reckless disregard for the norms of civilized conduct led him again to another trouble, a legal one, from the multi-million damage suit filed by Doc Stone, owner of a hospital. He engaged her in a shouting match because the latter refused his lobby to fire an administrative staff and have her replaced by his muni-muni Rutzel Jacerla.

That also triggered the end of his friendship with Kalipay, his long time friend and business associate. The communication consultant of Doc Stone, Kalipay, also complained of receiving insulting and threatening message that Hydrocephallus sent through mobile phone. He created a web page that he stuffed with filth against Doc Stone and boasted of that to Kalipay.

Hydrocephallus is lucky because his real boss, Bogart, not King Tura, gave him an abogado de campanilla to defend him, Boy Alc, the legal counsel of Bogart and Bigman for almost three decades. But he is, however, up to his nape now because Kalipay testified in court in favour of Doc Stone that it was Hydrocephallus and his muni-muni who established the web page.

Ma’am Malou should not let down his guard. She might have successfully defended herself from Hydrocephallus and cabal who schemed to unseat her, demote her to a mere Administrative Officer V, and starve her for a one-month by deleting her name and that of her assistant Bikya from the payroll but the war is far from over.

She should pursue her civil and administrative suits versus Hydrocephallus and cabal. The latter has shown little sign of repentance. To the contrary, he still wants to accomplish the “Grand Plan” which is to take control of key posts and functions to pave the way for the entry of Bogart because they think King Tura is ill and will be unable to complete his term in 2013.

The KIO is still part of the Cowpid, the “new” office that combines the KIO, the COW that Hydrocephallus is officially the chief, and the Radyo Mo; Hydrocephallus still controls the budget of the three offices. He is still twisting the arms of Ma’am Malou by withholding the release of funds intended for her office.

Where on earth can you find an information office that has no supplies like bond paper and printer ink? Only the KIO of Ma’am Malou.

Hydrocephallus continues to sit on her purchase requests. Ma’am Malou and her staff are printing their drafts in other offices.

The COW of Hydrocephallus enjoys abundant bond paper and ink that he directly procures as “bale” from Uni Art without the public bidding required under RA 9184. That scheme of buy-now-pay-later of sort is raising brows now as Hydrcoephallus shamelessly flaunt that illegal act of his.

The long sermon from King Tura could have put others in their proper places but not Hydrocephallus. Lately, he still attempted to take control of the school board with the budget of 100 million and the disaster fund with another 100 million budget. (To be continued)

(Greetings to Twinkle, daughter of a character in this series. I promise her to change the character's name because the present one suggests his hearing impairment which is not an issue here. My apologies.)

Hole of Justice: Grand Plan at the Kingdom by the River 17

Hole of Justice: Grand Plan at the Kingdom by the River 17: "When disaster strikes the Kingdom by the River and parliament subsequently places the kingdom under a state of calamity, King Tura will be h..."

Grand Plan at the Kingdom by the River 17

When disaster strikes the Kingdom by the River and parliament subsequently places the kingdom under a state of calamity, King Tura will be hostage to parliament. He is at the latter’s mercy because his disaster management program has been disapproved by it.

Under the Disaster Risk Reduction and Management Act or RA 10121, local government units or LGUs are mandated to set aside five percent of their general fund for disaster risk reduction and management. It is mandated and all that an LGU does is design a program to justify the disbursement of the fund.

With that, the Kingdom by the River has 69-million disaster fund. Thirty percent of that, commands the DRRM Act, is for immediate response and 70 percent for long term relief and rehabilitation.

When any part of the Kingdom, say, the town of the First Class Tickets, declares a state of calamity, the DRRM mandates that King Tura may disburse aid to supplement that of the town automatically. And “automatically” means automatically, that is, he does not have to beg to parliament for authority to disburse part of the disaster fund.

Repeat, King Tura has the power under the DRRM to automatically disburse funds after parliament declares a state of calamity.

In another instance mentioned above, he can also automatically release aid to any LGU that places itself under a state of calamity.

However, saboteurs inside his regime conspired with smart alecks in parliament in tying up his hands so he cannot rush to the succor of places and subjects of the kingdom during emergencies. This must still be parcel of the “Grand Plan” hatched by Hydrocephallus and his Jijimon media to take over key positions in the kingdom preparatory to the entry of Bogart. This is based on the scenario that King Tura is very ill and may not finish his term.

The DRRM Act gives King Tura the power to immediately act when parliament declares a state of calamity or when any part thereof declares itself in the same condition by their respective local lesilatures.

However, parliament, in complete defiance of DRRM Act prevents King Tura to act immediately. It requires him first to ask for authority from parliament before he releases funds.

During the reign of King Bungs, parliament placed the Kingdom under a state of calamity when Typhoon Prank swept the kingdoms by the River and the Mall with flash floods. Parliament declared a state of calamity. That gave King Bungs as chief of the Kingdom Disaster Council free hand to release funds to procure food and medicines.

Today, should another Prank visit the kingdom, King Tura must first convene parliament to declare a state of calamity. Since parliament rejected his disaster management program, he has to submit again another program for approval by parliament so he can apply the funds on it. Marikot gid. Meanwhile, his constituents in need of immediate aid must bear with the delay due to the bureaucratic stumbling block created by saboteurs.

And who are they? King Tura has to unlock this puzzle: he signed the ordinance that rejected his disaster management program; he approved a measure not knowing that it contained a provision spelling his own doom.

The document neither passed the scrutiny of Jer B who heads the disaster management secretariat who mastered the DRRM Act, nor of Papa Dionisio, the Kingdom Attorney. It was initialled by somebody else and surreptitiously slipped on his desk for his signature.

For one, King Tura must interview Hydrocephallus and his gang for the ordinance that disembowelled the disaster management program he submitted to parliament.

Grand Plan in the Kingdom by the River 16

By Peter G. Jimenea/Hole of Justice

I always make it a point that my webpages <petergjimenea.blogspot.com> and <peterjimenea.blogspot.com> are for free. Copying, lifting and publishing any contents thereof are absolutely allowed.

That’s where my friend Hydrocephallus failed to cover himself from these series even if he succeeded somehow in enticing my usual outlets, weeklies, from publishing my pieces using the carrot-and-stick approach. Now, he is wet all over.

Lately, he has taken a tactical retreat from his obsession of booting Kingdom Information Officer (KIO) Ma’am Malou out from her office and pave the way for his take over along with his Jijimon reporters.

No less than King Tura ordered him to cease and desist . The king threw on his lap the obligation of producing daily news and opinion items to promote the good name of the kingdom.

As a government news writer now, Hydrocephallus should know the basics of public relations for government offices. He should humble himself and get some pointers from his victim Ma’am Malou who knows that by heart.

First, know the mortal sins of media relations. Never intervene in the editorial prerogatives of an independent news outlet. Second, never threaten reporters or compel them to tow your line.

Hydrocephallus violated all those. At the height of his failed bid to usurp the KIO, he threatened Kapuso Ken. “Ha, ikaw gali atong gabalita sg interview mo kay Malou sa radio? (“So it was you who aired the interview with Malou),” he queried him. The poor reporter smiled uneasily. But Hydrocephallus continued: “Bantay ka lang (Watch out.)”

Making personal calls to publishers pleading or intimidating them from publishing my columns at the pain of losing advertisement contracts, is a mortal sin and that only proves Hydrocephallus still has lots to learn from Ma’am Malou.

Ma’am Malou may not be as prolific as reporters who go through the daily grind of submitting news materials before deadline, but she has one thing that Hydrocephallus does not have – goodwill with the press.

Through all the years that I have been gathering news at the Kingdom by the River, Ma’am Malou has earned the privilege as being regarded as the “nanay-nanay” or mother goose of sorts, to reporters. She seldom writes feature stories but she has the grace of making reporters feel at home, offering them coffee, data and referrals to other officials who could provide more information.

When Malou writes, be it straight news or feature stories, we are assured that what she submits are original, unlike our hero who has cultivated the reputation as a lazy bone and contenting himself copying the works of others that eventually led to his disgraceful exit from a national broadsheet.

***

The Kingdom by the River is the only one in the region that has no office for “disaster risk reduction and management” pursuant to Republic Act 10121 or Disaster Risk Reduction and Management Act.

Smart alecks inside are sabotaging the administration of King Tura by blocking the establishment of one. Other sub-kingdoms and fiefdoms of the Kingdom by the River already have theirs.

Under the law, five percent of the general fund has to be set aside for, 30 percent of which for immediate response and 70 for the rest of the contingency. That’s automatic and all that a local government needs to do is design a program for expending the disaster fund for approval by parliament.

Once a locality is declared under a “state of calamity”, the chief executive has the power to expend the budget for relief and rehabilitation without further need for an authority for the release of the disaster fund.

The budget ordinance of the Kingdom makes a mockery of that and treats King Tura as a jester. The parliament disapproved the disaster program submitted by the king. Instead, parliament decrees that even under a state of calamity, the king can disburse the disaster fund only when so authorized by the parliament.

I learned of that after the tragic earthquake and tsunami in Japan, when disaster coordinator Jery B admitted on air that the kingdom was ill prepared for disasters for two reasons: it has no disaster risk reduction and management office and its disaster-preparedness program was trashed by Bogart and company.

In other words, King Tura’s hands are tied during disasters; he is hostage to and at the mercy of Bogart who presides over parliament. That must a key to the Grand Plan by the Kingdom by the River being exposed here that Hydrocephallus and his Jijimon reporters are turning to a reality to pave the way for the takeover by his cabal led by their godfather Bogart.

King Tura has to investigate to ferret out the saboteur. The ordinance was surreptitiously slipped on his table for approval without first passing through the scrutiny of Papa Dionisio, the kingdom attorney. It is neither the initial of Papa Dionisio nor Jer B that appears below the king’s signature.

Nahimo nila nga kaladlawan si King Tura! More on this act of sabotage later.

Monalisa lied!

By Peter G. Jimenea

Hole of Justice

In one of the fora called-for by members of the Catholic Bishop Conference of the Philippines (CBCP), Ombudsman Merceditas Gutierrez claimed there was no probable cause for the House Committee on Justice to impeach her.

She failed to realize that sleeping on cases filed at her office is a betrayal of public trust and a culpable violation of the Constitution. It is her sleeping on those cases why Atty. Romeo Gerochi had been calling her office - “The Office of Monalisa”.

It's true. In a song inspired by the legendary picture of Monalisa, one will come across the line that says; “Many dreams have been brought to your doorstep, they just lie there and they die there.” The same fate has happened to the many cases at her office.

Take the case of Jocelyn “Jocjoc” Bolante, an ally of the Holy ehe...este First family. He is linked to the P728M fertilizer scam. Then the unaccounted P2 billion for the automation of the Comelec of Ben Abalos, also an ally of Pres. Gloria M. Arroyo.

Next is the China ZTE deal with the Arroyo administration followed by the $2B extortion case of former Sen. Nani Perez filed by Mark Jimenez and many more. It seemed that those cases against the undesirable underlings of the administration has slowly disappeared in the course of time.

Worse, the plea bargain agreement entered into by the Ombudsman Office with Gen. Carlos Garcia who is facing plunder charges. It's tainted with corruption and this is what got us so badly disillusioned.

Ombudsman Monalisa ehe... este Gutierrez should know that to conceal a fraud is fraud.In her desire to please her benefactor and protect their comrades, she risked her integrity. Unfortunately. she is now left alone in the mess they're in.

But she refused to be intimidated by impeachment threat when the Supreme Court had already fixed the glitches in the missing point of order. Likewise, to heed to the call of the Senate and the Palace to resign and spare this country from the agony of impeachment.

Instead, she boldly challenge them to go on with their threat of impeachment. Oddly enough, she has that rare guts to defy the favorable option offered by two branches of the government. Maybe she realized it's a mere pittance only.

Now let's look back at this P132M for 413 units of Low-Cost Housing Project of the Iloilo City government for its employees. It started in 2001, ended in 2009 without even a unit completely built. This is corruption of the highest order!

Iloilo City Councilors Atty. Raul Gonzalez, Jr. and Atty. Antonio Pesina called for an immediate investigation of this housing scam. Dir. Virginia Palanca Santiago of the Office of the Ombudsman conducted the probe.

Eventually, Dir. Santiago has confirmed there was a big waste of taxpayers money going to the wrong pockets. So before election in 2004, SP Pesina filed a case against Mayor Trenas, the contractor and some city officials linked to the messy project.

Another corruption case was also filed by Atty. Romeo Gerochi against city officials involved in the housing scam. Yet, unafraid, Mayor Trenas continues paying the bill of the contractor in millions. Despite the slippage of the project, their will was done!

But that is not only what we are looking for. An employee of the Ombudsman at the head office in Quezon City said that Ombudsman Monalisa... ehe, este Ombudsman Gutierrez personally took the housing scam case folder containing the charge-sheets hinting to review it inside her office.

Now we are already 2011. The then mayor is also a congressman now. What we heard lately is that Ombudsman Gutierrez and Cong. Trenas were classmates at the Ateneo Law School few years ago, that's all. No wonder why she slept on his cases for over seven years.

Surprisingly, she boldly say there's no probable cause for the House Committee on Justice to impeach her. My god, she is already in the pot but jumps into the fire. The case of that Iloilo City government prostituted project alone is enough evidence by which I shall judge her!</span></span>

Her sleeping on cases at her office is betrayal of public trust, a deliberate stepping over the line of pardonable behavior and a culpable violation of the Constitution. The tragedy is when those cases become a scroll to form the basis of her blasphemy!