Grand Plan in the Kingdom by the River 16

By Peter G. Jimenea/Hole of Justice

I always make it a point that my webpages <petergjimenea.blogspot.com> and <peterjimenea.blogspot.com> are for free. Copying, lifting and publishing any contents thereof are absolutely allowed.

That’s where my friend Hydrocephallus failed to cover himself from these series even if he succeeded somehow in enticing my usual outlets, weeklies, from publishing my pieces using the carrot-and-stick approach. Now, he is wet all over.

Lately, he has taken a tactical retreat from his obsession of booting Kingdom Information Officer (KIO) Ma’am Malou out from her office and pave the way for his take over along with his Jijimon reporters.

No less than King Tura ordered him to cease and desist . The king threw on his lap the obligation of producing daily news and opinion items to promote the good name of the kingdom.

As a government news writer now, Hydrocephallus should know the basics of public relations for government offices. He should humble himself and get some pointers from his victim Ma’am Malou who knows that by heart.

First, know the mortal sins of media relations. Never intervene in the editorial prerogatives of an independent news outlet. Second, never threaten reporters or compel them to tow your line.

Hydrocephallus violated all those. At the height of his failed bid to usurp the KIO, he threatened Kapuso Ken. “Ha, ikaw gali atong gabalita sg interview mo kay Malou sa radio? (“So it was you who aired the interview with Malou),” he queried him. The poor reporter smiled uneasily. But Hydrocephallus continued: “Bantay ka lang (Watch out.)”

Making personal calls to publishers pleading or intimidating them from publishing my columns at the pain of losing advertisement contracts, is a mortal sin and that only proves Hydrocephallus still has lots to learn from Ma’am Malou.

Ma’am Malou may not be as prolific as reporters who go through the daily grind of submitting news materials before deadline, but she has one thing that Hydrocephallus does not have – goodwill with the press.

Through all the years that I have been gathering news at the Kingdom by the River, Ma’am Malou has earned the privilege as being regarded as the “nanay-nanay” or mother goose of sorts, to reporters. She seldom writes feature stories but she has the grace of making reporters feel at home, offering them coffee, data and referrals to other officials who could provide more information.

When Malou writes, be it straight news or feature stories, we are assured that what she submits are original, unlike our hero who has cultivated the reputation as a lazy bone and contenting himself copying the works of others that eventually led to his disgraceful exit from a national broadsheet.

***

The Kingdom by the River is the only one in the region that has no office for “disaster risk reduction and management” pursuant to Republic Act 10121 or Disaster Risk Reduction and Management Act.

Smart alecks inside are sabotaging the administration of King Tura by blocking the establishment of one. Other sub-kingdoms and fiefdoms of the Kingdom by the River already have theirs.

Under the law, five percent of the general fund has to be set aside for, 30 percent of which for immediate response and 70 for the rest of the contingency. That’s automatic and all that a local government needs to do is design a program for expending the disaster fund for approval by parliament.

Once a locality is declared under a “state of calamity”, the chief executive has the power to expend the budget for relief and rehabilitation without further need for an authority for the release of the disaster fund.

The budget ordinance of the Kingdom makes a mockery of that and treats King Tura as a jester. The parliament disapproved the disaster program submitted by the king. Instead, parliament decrees that even under a state of calamity, the king can disburse the disaster fund only when so authorized by the parliament.

I learned of that after the tragic earthquake and tsunami in Japan, when disaster coordinator Jery B admitted on air that the kingdom was ill prepared for disasters for two reasons: it has no disaster risk reduction and management office and its disaster-preparedness program was trashed by Bogart and company.

In other words, King Tura’s hands are tied during disasters; he is hostage to and at the mercy of Bogart who presides over parliament. That must a key to the Grand Plan by the Kingdom by the River being exposed here that Hydrocephallus and his Jijimon reporters are turning to a reality to pave the way for the takeover by his cabal led by their godfather Bogart.

King Tura has to investigate to ferret out the saboteur. The ordinance was surreptitiously slipped on his table for approval without first passing through the scrutiny of Papa Dionisio, the kingdom attorney. It is neither the initial of Papa Dionisio nor Jer B that appears below the king’s signature.

Nahimo nila nga kaladlawan si King Tura! More on this act of sabotage later.