Grand Plan at the Kingdom by the River (13)

By Peter G. Jimenea/ Hole of Justice


The internet, the social network, blogs and webpages are fueling political upheavals in the Middle East and North Africa (MENA). Despite the brute might of authoritarian regimes that clamped down on the conventional media (TV, newspapers, radio), dictators are at a loss how to beat the internet which is now available in pocket-size gadgets like cell phones.


Hydrocephallus and his cohorts tried a similar trick on me. He hacked into my account and called up individual news outlets introducing himself as the new Kingdom Information Officer (KIO) instructing editors to trash these series posted in my blog and FaceBook. Understandably, publishers and editors, want to survive the harsh world of newspaper business that they readily cave in from the carrot-and-stick approach that offers them advertisements for their compliance and denial of publicity contracts should they refuse the carrot. Well, that makes them into rabbits including Mountain Green, the rabid lapdog of Hydrocephallus who keeps on calling Ma'am Malou the "KIO" but with the qualification "ex-" or "former" before the word.


The temerity of publishers could no longer prevent me from reaching readers directly, thanks to the internet, my opinion pieces continue to spread. Thanks to fellow bloggers and social networkers who redistributed  my postings by clicking on the word "share".


For now, the storm buffetting Ma'am Malou, the real KIO, is almost gone. King Tura declared in no-uncertain terms that she is the KIO and should remain in her office, and that she has to proceed with her criminal, civil and administrative raps against Hydrocephallus and his cohorts for oppressing and abusing her. The Ma'am Malou vs Hydrocephallus imbroglio is well discussed in my past columns but suffice it to say that King Tura has instructed Ma'am Malou to submit a media plan.


Ma'am Malou, count me in the media plan of yours. I will not hesitate to use this space to communicate with fellow Ilonggos on the programs and policies of the administration of King Tura.


There is one problem she has to resolve, though: her office is still hostage to the whims and caprices, which are inexhaustible, of Hydrocephallus. Her office has ran out of supplies like bondpaper and ink because Hydrocephallus sat on her purchase requests. He even schemed and succeeded for a while in deleting the names of Ma'am Malou and her assistant Bikya from the payroll. The two were unable to receive their salaries for February while their tormentors, namely, Hydrocephallus, D.. (censored), Tibakla and Gin Butlog were gloating at the misery they inflicted on the pair.


Having been blackeyed by the real KIO, Hydrocephallus and his ever loyal alalay, D...(censored) turned their attention to another would be victim -- Jer Boy. They are now pestering him to submit reports to King Tura on the evacuation of 19 families last week in the Municipality of First Class Tickets when the river overflowed. 


The town managed to attend to the victims of the flash flood and did not even bother to declare a state of calamity as the families affected already went back to their farms.


Hydrocephallus and his alalay fit into what Ilonggos call "palak-palak" referring to people who quickly jump into actions and prematurely without using their common sense much less brains, and thereby, bungling every move.


Jer Boy could only smile at this pair of palak-palak who try to make mountains out of  molehills. The disaster is already gone, the families already resettled to their homes, and the town managed to tend to their needs without seeking succor from King Tura.  That happened because Jer Boy the past years worked with the towns to organize their respective "disaster risk management councils" and hold rescue and rehab drills from the municipal down to barangay levels.


With that, all that Jer Boy has to do is to render a report to King Tura, not to Hydrocephallus and D(censored) as if Jer Boy were their subordinate, that the King need not worry, the town of First Class Tickets has the capacity to implement the "disaster risk reduction and management" program of the Kingdom.


Hydrocephallus and his alalay might continue to pester Jer Boy because they eye the 60 million budget of Jer Boy's program for disaster response.


Incidentally, one of the consultants to the King has unflattering comment for Hydrocephallus: he never learns.


She knows that he has been fired from the Canadian Urban Institute (CUI) due to the same attitudinal problems that were also the cause for the management of a national broadsheet to kick him out earlier. He thinks people are toys to be used or objects to be sideswiped on his way to the top.


His colleagues wrote a petition asking CUI bigwigs to fire him but the more serious one came from his own wife who filed a formal complaint hitting him for his adulterous tie with Ritz Jacerla, a married woman, who he flaunted around. 


Both turned the CUI office into a motel, very much they are doing now at the palace of the Kingdom by the River like what they did last February 27, a Sunday, where they made paupas damang at his office from morning until 4 pm.